Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Small changes and SMART goals

Happy New Year! This is the time of year we all kick off our new round of best intentions for 2007.

It's good to have best intentions, but studies show people abandon most of them somewhere in the new year's first quarter. Why is that? Maybe it's because the changes people are seeking are sometimes too sweeping or all-encompassing.

So what I'd like to propose is that we make the changes we want to see in small steps. Take the big goal and break it down into small segments, and do it in small time frames.

In my management days, I always liked the SMART goals concept. In a nutshell, goals are supposed to be:

So, rather than saying, "I want to lose weight," you say, "My goal is to lose one pound this week by performing a half hour of aerobics every day without increasing what I eat." At the end of the week, you see how you did, and you set a new goal.

A nutritionist friend of mine has a similar philosophy. When she works with a client, she doesn't dump all the changes needed on them all at once. She may say instead something like, "For every soft drink you have, try having an equal amount of water." She's clevershe doesn't tell them to stop drinking soft drinks. But in effect she halves the amount they drink with this new practice, because they're not as thirsty. Then, once that habit is formed, they take stock and decide on the next small thing to change.

Okay, there is a spiritual connection here. I know how discouraging it can be to strive to get everything right spiritually all at once. When we think we're already supposed to be walking on water and raising the dead, it can be way too easy to focus on what we're doing wrong rather than what we're doing right.

Maybe you have a goal to be less angry. If you just vow never to be angry again ever, you may be setting yourself up for failure. One misstep and you might feel like it's hopeless. But what if you instead framed the goal as, "This week, every time another driver on the road does something stupid, I'm going to remind myself that he or she is a child of God. In the car, I'm going to be patient and kind, and not angry." At the end of the week, you take stock, and maybe add another location where it's too easy to get angry to your list. Eventually, you eject anger right out of your life, one place at a time.

What if you want to be more happy by the end of 2007? It might be about taking "happiness breaks." Set a goal: "Each day this week, I'm going to take a one minute break every morning at 9:30 and every afternoon at 2pm to remember what went well in the last few hours. I'm going to acknowledge my happiness with those successes." Can you imagine how you'd feel after a few weeks of that?

Perhaps you want to feel a deeper connection to Spirit on a daily basis. What about setting this goal: "Every day this month, I'm going to take three minutes each morning to think about nothing but the Divine." Later, you could make it five minutes, or ten, or thirty. You could eventually weave this mindset into your activities, welcoming the presence of the Divine into your day, all day long.

What you might have noticed about the three spiritual goal-setting examples is they're mental goals. These are things you do in thought. Consequently, there's no barrier to doing themit's as easy as changing your mind.

Another point is they're about adding something to your life, not subtracting. So many of our goals are about stopping something bad, when what we may need to do is add something good. Like my nutritionist friend with her addition of water, when we add the good idea to our thinking, this just naturally takes up the space and pushes out the bad.

My goal for everyone, myself included, is that we be kind to ourselves. That we are as patient with our own faults as we are with others', and that we embrace with joy the spiritual progress that 2007 can bring us.

p.s. If you want any help crafting a SMART goal for yourself, post it in the discussion area of SpiritOnTheJob.com, and we'll work on it together!



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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Soaring higher on the wings of Mind

Have you ever watched a flock of birds in flight? One recent weekend was full of these sightings for me. It's been a mild fall, so perhaps now they're migrating.

The birds would swoop and soar, changing color simultaneously from dark to light as their wings shifted orientation toward the sun. One especially huge flock seemed to go from solid to aeroform from moment to moment. The shapes would merge and expand effortlessly. Total harmony of movement, total unity, but dependent on each bird doing its part.

This coincided with some prayerful work I'd been doing on God's will. Sometimes I find myself on my spiritual journey trying to puzzle out what God wants me to do. Does He want me to do this or that? Usually I'm the most puzzled when there's something in particular that *I* want to do, and I'm trying to noodle out whether God wants me to do it, too. It's that feeling of wanting something so badly that you just want it to be right, for a change.

Lately, though, it's that hungry feeling I've begun to suspect is the problem. I can't figure out God's will by asking whether He agrees with me or not. What I need to do is get my own will out of the way entirely. I need to silence that human will, put it aside, sacrifice it. Then God's will is simply what's happening. My willfulness keeps me from seeing God's will.

It's like the birds. We are ideas in the flock of divine Mind (to me another way of looking at God), and it's Mind that enables us to sing and soar. We spread our wings and fly on the currents of Mind. If we start thinking too much—left now, or right?—we might find ourselves colliding. But when we release our own will and simply feel the current, harmonious flight becomes natural and safe.

This "Mind-set" has had implications for how I run my business. I'm a freelance writer/editor, and when I launched as a freelancer a little over a year ago, I spent a lot of time planning exactly how my business was going to grow. I wrote a business plan, thought up strategies, devised clever tactics.

These were important steps in understanding my business and the landscape more thoroughly. But within a few months, I had set that plan aside. New ideas were coming to me weekly, daily, that I just had to act on. As I followed those ideas, they added up to a thriving business. I'm now thinking of expanding in ways I never thought of in that first business plan. Sure, when the new year comes I'll probably take a few days to craft a new plan, just to get my bearings and regroup. But if this year is any indication of how things are going to go, I'll have to stay flexible.

I believe now that God's will is that we exist in harmony, that we move through creation frictionless and free. I've seen that my own will often puts me at odds with others. I then try to get God to justify my position, to tell me that I'm doing the right thing. Funny, He seldom does. His message to me is instead, Peace, dear one. Trust Me. Then He sends ideas that get me going again.

Letting go of one's own will implies trust. Do we trust enough to know that the divine will is to give us all that we could ever want? Abundance and joy beyond our imagining?

Knowing that infinite Mind *wants* me to fly comforts me. I know I'll be able to soar higher on the winds of Mind than I ever could on my own.

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Job stress, pain and healing

This story starts with a cracked tooth. No need to wince—it cracked one summer day, but then caused me no more trouble.

However, that next winter, my work situation snowballed into one of the toughest periods of my life. What had been a dream job abruptly became a nightmare. Upper management went through a shift in thinking, which was directly affecting my project. My team, who I cared deeply about, became confused and disoriented even as we tried to comfort each other and adjust. As manager, I felt responsible for the outcome. The stress was wiping me out and lowering all my defenses.

And right in the middle of this, my tooth decided to flare up.

At first I tried to handle it from a strictly physical point of view. No go. The pain, unfortunately, kept increasing. It became the focus of my world, I couldn't even think about work anymore. I went to a local dentist who informed me there was an infection and the tooth couldn't come out until the infection was gone. He prescribed antibiotics and painkillers, told me how I could clean the area, and sent me home.

When I got the prescription filled, the person behind the counter told me when I was on this medication, I wouldn't be able to "operate heavy machinery," meaning I couldn't drive. But I had an important family trip the next day that couldn't be cancelled. I had to be able to drive.

So I took the pills home and stuffed them in a drawer. If the pain was simply from an infection, I felt I could deal with that through my spiritual connect. I'd seen a healing of infection before without medication, so I was convinced it could happen again. I also did the cleaning the dentist recommended.

It was at this point that I also finally began to address what was the real root of the problem—the work stress. I had many significant conversations with family members and in-the-know work associates who were supportive and understanding. I drew on this support for a growing conviction that despite all appearances, all was well. God, Spirit, was in control. Of me, of my tooth, of work. I was not spinning somewhere outside of His control.

And His control was Love. My subordinates were also enveloped in that Love, which had always motivated all that we were doing and had the power to protect us now.

Throughout these several days, I had bouts with pain but also painless, Love-filled moments. When the pain was gone, I knew only a deep connection with Spirit. I'd use these breaks to shore up my defenses as much as possible with heightened prayer and conviction. I began to feel a sense of control over the pain as I specifically addressed both the physical and mental symptoms. I don't want this to sound like it was easy, because it wasn't, but it was productive and inspiring. I felt that God was with me.

We took the family trip, me driving most of the way, and it worked out. The kids had a great time anyway and I even got some rest. Within a few days after the trip, the pain eased off and disappeared. I took this to mean the infection was healed.

When the tooth removal date came, the dentist remarked that he was glad the antibiotics had worked, and I told him I'd never taken them. He extracted the tooth fairly easily (yes, at that point I used Novocain!), and a continued discipline of prayer and connection to Sprit in the aftermath made the healing process happen harmoniously. No further complications.

This experience strengthened me to face the work situation with more equanimity. I recognized I had been allowing the stress to affect me. I'd let it in, thinking something had changed for the worst. This was the real "infection." As I grew in my understanding that nothing good could be lost, that nothing had changed in reality and that my team and I were safe and loved and appreciated by Spirit, I felt a renewed harmony in the workplace. When my project ended shortly thereafter and I moved on to other things, I was actually grateful. My subordinates, too, made transitions that were completely right for them.

Moral of the story? If there's any moral, it's that we're holistic beings. We can't separate out physical wellbeing from emotional and spiritual. I needed to learn that harmony in one area supported harmony in another—that I am one, whole, loved child of the Creator, and that Creator adjusts things perfectly on all levels.

I lost a lot of fear in those two weeks, and gained a lot of Love.


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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

You can't help having a purpose

Do you ever ask the question, "What is my purpose?"

Once when I was struggling with this question, I spent some time just thinking about the meaning of the word. Purpose is the reason something exists. It indicates something done "on purpose," or with intention, by design. It includes the concept of intended results, meaning there was a goal to accomplish in forming the purpose. It is also the object of the goal itself, the result of the plan, the outcome of the design. It can also be how you do something, as in doing something with determination, with purpose.

So to me, there's a lot of considerations when attempting to answer the question, "What is my purpose?" I think the question assumes an Other, a Someone Else, in charge and making things work. I mean, who are we actually asking? The fact that we're asking the question at all means to me that we're really trying to figure out who put us here in the first place, and what did that being intend for us.

It's an interesting notion—to be the outcome of my Creator's creative force, but not to be totally informed of what the plan was when I was created. And where I finally landed in all my noodling on this subject is the conviction that it's the feeling of incomplete understanding that we should actually be questioning.

Spiritual author Mary Baker Eddy writes, "Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as He opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear." For our Creator is Spirit. And we exist as Spirit's image and likeness, so true to the original, so picture perfect, that there is no element of us that can be lacking in understanding. Being the full and perfect expression of Spirit *is* our purpose. It's Spirit's purpose in forming us. We are the result Spirit had in mind.

That infinite Spirit, flowing with infinite creative perfect gorgeous intelligent ideas, is creating us right now. We are, now, complete and finished even as we are being created. Simultaneous creation and completion of every idea, with no end or beginning. That's Spirit.

The feeling I want today then is my own conscious participation in that creative process, a feeling of unfoldment. The feeling the flower bud has as it opens, the feeling the sun has as it rises. A new day dawns, a new life springs forth. I want to feel myself as the springing forth of Spirit's conception of its own creation. I want to follow that path and experience all the wonders along the way.

My purpose then is to be the purpose of Spirit. I can't help it really, it's intentional on Spirit's part. All I can do is embrace it.


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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Integrity essential to true power

In today's sometimes murky ethical environment, where top executives do regrettable things simply because they can, it's refreshing to hear from experts on the subject who can make a clear case for integrity.

One such expert is Joseph White, President of University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana (my alma mater). White has a new book out, The Nature of Leadership: Reptiles, Mammals and the Challenge of Becoming a Great Leader. I just read about the book in my alumni magazine. He makes some exciting points about leadership and ethics.

White talks about leaders having to have both reptilian and mammalian qualities, i.e., order, stability and routine balanced with attention, nurturing and encouragment. But if these aspects form two side of a pyramid, the foundational qualities of ability, strength and, above all, character form the base.

Character, or high integrity, is fundamental to excellent leadership—you can't gain trust without it. White has developed four simple points to test yourself on your integrity level.

What I'm liking about these integrity indicators is that while they seem to demand a lot, they are actually liberating. By sticking to standards like these, you become free to succeed in every way possible, with no skeletons in your closet and no noose around your neck. The standards lead to freedom, and ultimately, power.

I've written before about honesty on the job. At that same job, I had a co-worker who lied all the time, even about little things. If he had even the slightest idea he might get in trouble, he'd lie to cover his tracks. He wasn't always successful, and often got in even more trouble with our volatile bosses. Finally, the bosses made him my subordinate, and told me to take care of it or they'd fire him.

I worked with him to build trust between us first. Since I had been a co-worker, I already knew a lot the shenanigans he was used to pulling, so I could joke with him about not being able to do that anymore. If I suspected he was lying to me, I'd lightly kid him into being more honest. I avoided getting mad or aggravated with him, and he became habitually honest with me. But he was still afraid of the bosses.

One day he came barreling into the office very scared about the fact that he'd just gotten a company car into a minor fender-bender while on a delivery. He came to me to help him make up a convincing story! Which of course I couldn't do. But I did help him calm down, and told him he'd get much better results by just telling the truth.

I knew that telling the truth not only makes you feel you're on firm ground rather than in quicksand, but that it's also related to embodying that higher Truth that connects us all. Lying betrays that connection; honesty solidifies it. If you think of divine Truth as our Creator, which is one way I like to think about it, it's clear that as its creation, we need to be honest with each other.

My work friend steeled himself, and went into one boss's office. He just laid out what happened, the boss figured these things happen and that our insurance would cover it, and that was it.

I laugh now when I remember how stunned he was that he didn't get in trouble. From that time forward, he more manfully admitted mistakes when he needed to, and also began to get more credit for when things went well. When I left that job a few months later, he had grown in responsibility and was in charge of many aspects of our inventory, including the company cars.

I love the simplicity of this maxim from spiritual author Mary Baker Eddy: "Honesty is spiritual power." My work friend experienced this increase in power from being honest. Joseph White shows in his book how leadership at its most powerful and effective is also dependent on being honest. It's actually natural to be honest, since we're all connected through divine Truth.



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